Pushing Harder Works…Until it Doesn’t
Before this thing called “midlife” was anywhere near my radar, I was in complete control of my body. If I wanted it to change, I knew what to do. Workout harder, lift heavier, cut back on the junk food. Easy work.
Until it wasn’t.
It felt as if it was almost overnight that everything changed. But looking back, I now see how a little fatigue here and a little lack of uninterest here slowly snowballed into the weight gain, brain fog and hot flashes — and eventually into someone I didn’t recognize when I looked in the mirror.
All I really knew to do was what I had done for decades: push harder.
But that backfired. I wasn’t listening to the clear signals that my body was giving me—that I needed to step back.
But I didn’t.
I kept going, and then it happened. The one thing that I thought would always be a part of my life no matter — working out — was suddenly as much of a priority to me as was reorganizing the laundry room.
And that definitely caused a “Who are you, and what have you done with Melissa?” situation.
So, What Finally Made Me Stop Pushing?
I think I was just exhausted. Not “I need a day off” tired. More like the kind of exhausted where even the things that had always been part of who I was started feeling hard.
I had spent years overriding that feeling. Without even knowing it. I thought working out 7 days a week was keeping me sane!😂 I love going to the gym, being at the gym, the endorphins I’d get after completing a really tough workout, and how my body responded. I knew recovery was a thing, but I thought “I don’t get sore, and I like the way I look, so I must not need to rest.
But eventually it caught up with me, and I didn’t have anything left to push with.
Then a year ago this month is when things started changing. I started taking a sleep peptide called Restored by MAKE Wellness and that’s when my sleep started to improve. I went from getting around 3 hours of sleep (for as far back as I can remember) to getting about 7 hours. And it wasn’t just sleep a little, wake up, lay there for a while longer before falling back asleep. This was deep, uninterrupted sleep. And if you haven’t experienced the difference in that kind of rest, you can’t possibly understand how much this one area changed my life.
One of the first ways I noticed the difference was in my mandatory naps. They started getting shorter and shorter, and eventually I wasn’t waking up feeling as depleted. Over time, my energy increased, and that gave me enough energy to start approaching other parts of my health differently.
I didn’t suddenly become the version of myself I feel like today. That came later. But better sleep gave me the starting point I was looking for.
When I stopped Fighting My Body
Once I started sleeping better, I had enough energy to actually pay attention to what my body was telling me.
And I started realizing that maybe the answer wasn’t to keep pushing harder. But for years that was my default, so doing less felt strange at first.
I went to the gym less often. And as hard as it was for me, I made myself pick up lighter weights. Why was that so hard for me? Probably my ego. I think I’m pretty strong for my small frame, and I always wanted to prove it. But as the saying goes, I had to leave my ego at the door.
Eventually I stopped feeling like every workout had to leave me completely spent in order to count. And guess what? My body didn’t fall apart because I stopped pushing it so hard. Quite the opposite.
Then I started looking at some other things I had been ignoring.
I became more intentional about protein, fiber, and vegetables. I’ve always eaten pretty good, but being intentional about how much of those things I was getting was something new for me. Again, I was used to what used to work. Now I had to actually think about it. So that’s when I started fasting and experimenting with what actually felt good for me instead of assuming I needed to eat or exercise a certain way.
I was also reading more, listening to podcasts, taking courses, and actually letting myself be coached for a change. A coach needs to be coached too!
So, I Created a Different Kind of Challenge
All of this changed the way I started thinking about helping other women, too.
Because if you’re a woman in midlife, chances are you already know a lot of the things you’re “supposed” to be doing. Eat more protein. Get enough fiber. Lift weights. Walk. Sleep. Stay hydrated. Manage your stress. The list can get long really fast.
And if you’re already overwhelmed, is another giant list of things to do really what you need? I don’t think it is.
I think sometimes you need a place to start. A few things to notice. A few things to try. And enough space to pay attention to how your body responds.
That’s why I created The 7-Day SHIFT. I wanted to create something that would help women start connecting the pieces without feeling like they had to overhaul their entire lives.
For seven days, I’ll introduce you to tools and ideas I’ve learned through my own experience, education, and coaching training. You’ll get to choose what makes sense for you, experiment with it, and most importantly, pay attention to how you feel.
Because the goal isn’t for you to finish seven days following all of my rules. The goal is for you to finish seven days knowing a little more about you.
What’s Included in the 7-Day SHIFT?
This wasn’t thrown together in a weekend. I built The 7-Day SHIFT intentionally so you’re not just getting information — you’re getting a clear path, simple actions, tools to help you notice your patterns, and support along the way.
Inside The 7-Day SHIFT, you’ll have:
The 7-Day SHIFT Guide & 7 daily lessons to walk you through the week.
A Nervous System Questionnaire & Support Tools to help you recognize your patterns and find practical ways to support yourself.
A Lifestyle Signal Scan to help you look at the different areas of your life and notice what may deserve more attention.
Fasting education, including common fasting windows and myths, so you can decide whether fasting is a tool that makes sense for you.
My SHIFT Plan, where you’ll decide what you actually want to continue working on after seven days.
Your own client portal, where you’ll have access to daily check-in prompts to keep you accountable, and a private community, so you’re not doing this by yourself.
Free access to a wellness app.
A guided Sunday SHIFT session to bring everything together.
Support from me throughout the experience so you have somewhere to ask questions as you work through it.
I wanted this to feel simple for you because a lot of thought went into it behind the scenes. You don’t need more overwhelm. You need a clear place to start.
The first SHIFT begins September 27. If this sounds like a place you need to start, I’d love to have you join me.
